When You Think They Are Better

It is that daily realization that he is not better that day.

I know, I tell myself to never give up hope. I know God can heal him, and in fact, I have seen God heal people.

I have hope. I have faith.

In the middle of my beliefs, I have the daily reality that at that moment he isn't healed and he still suffers from his nerve damage.

Traumatic Brain Injury is an event, but I consider it a lifestyle.  The consequences of TBI can last for years as well as get increasingly worse over time.

Each day he tries to live life but the continued physical and mental pain overshadows it.

It isn't every second of the day.  Sometimes it isn't even every hour.

I've learned to take each moment captive.  I haven't learned how to turn each moment into a positive memory, just a memory. I look at him and see such bravery, such strength.  I see God's mercy in sparing his life and giving my husband the ability to live and do the best he can to be my husband and father to our children. Do we love in sickness and in health? Do we love for better or for worse? 

I write this to let you know I understand.

I write this to let you know there is so much I could say but don't. Those of us who love our husbands don't say how deeply it hurts or affects us. We know, but we don't share because we don't want to hurt our loved one.

So, be strong beautiful one. Take heart, you are not alone! 

God will never leave us or forsake us. He will wrap His arms around you and comfort you when you feel alone. Tell Him all your concerns and fears because He cares.

Author: Sheri Smith
Written Dec. 2019
Updated and published Aug. 2021